Support for Spouse with Chronic Pain Is Helpful, But Not Always Welcome

By Pat Anson, PNN Editor

Support for a spouse or romantic partner with chronic pain can help reduce depression and improve their mood, according to new study. But researchers say some people in pain have poor psychological health regardless of the support they receive.     

A Penn State research team conducted a series of interviews with 152 long-term couples over the age of 50 in which one of the partners had knee pain from osteoarthritis.

Nearly 40% of middle-aged Americans have knee osteoarthritis, a progressive and painful joint disorder that causes thinning of cartilage and joint damage. The condition is strongly associated with early death, high blood pressure, diabetes and cardiovascular disease, particularly in women.

“Osteoarthritis in the knee can be a challenging condition,” lead author Suyoung Nah, PhD, said in a press release “People with the condition will eventually need support managing their pain. What is more, they are likely to continue needing assistance managing their pain for the rest of their lives.”

Nah and her colleagues asked each couple about the pain management support they received from a spouse or partner, such as assistance in taking pain medication or help standing up.

Most participants who received good support felt loved and grateful, and had fewer signs of depression; while those who felt a lack of support had more negative moods and were more likely to be depressed.

A small group of respondents reported feeling angry or resentful — even when they received good support from a partner.

“Almost everyone has times in their life when they do not want to accept help because it makes them feel helpless or because they think they do not need it,” said co-author Lynn Martire, PhD, a Professor of Human Development and Family Studies at Penn State’s Center for Healthy Aging.

Researchers wanted to see if people’s perceptions of the support they receive changed over time, so 18 months later they surveyed the same couples again. Those who felt anger or resentment at the start of the study – regardless of the support they received -- continued having negative moods.

That finding demonstrates the need for good communication between couples when one partner has chronic pain. Providing support – and accepting it -- can be complicated in those relationships.

“Receiving care is not always beneficial to every aspect of a person’s life,” said Nah, who is currently a Postdoctoral Fellow at the Virginia Tech Center for Gerontology. “Additionally, it may be difficult for couples to discuss and negotiate care. As a society, we need to make sure that older people understand their partner’s needs and desires regarding care so that both partners can maximize their physical, emotional and relational quality of life.”

Previous research by Martire found that couples typically don’t have conversations about the type of support that is wanted or needed. Clear communication about expectations and feelings can improve the quality of life for a partner who needs care.

“My main interest is in late-life family relationships — especially couples — navigating chronic illness,” Martire said. “Most older adults have at least two or three chronic illnesses, so helping them find better ways to help each other is really important.”

The study was published in Journal of Aging and Health.

A 2017 study found that criticism from a spouse can make chronic back pain worse. People with back pain who felt they were criticized had more anxiety, anger and sadness, and their pain levels increased for as long as three hours. The study also found that when a partner was supportive – expressing concern about a spouse’s pain or giving “helpful” suggestions – the interaction was still perceived as negative by some pain sufferers.