Pain Pacifist: A Poem About Pain
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"Pain Pacifist"
By Angelika Byczkowski
Pain warrior no longer,
I surrender,
give up the fight,
become a pacifist.
Pain is far too big,
too strong for me
to stand against,
curb or contain.
It spills over
the edge of my meds,
trampling barriers
of mind eroded
by long-sustained
assault, it gives
no pause, no rest,
no redemption.
I'm worn down,
too exhausted
to continue this
unending battle,
fighting my own
invisible torment,
running wild in
this broken body.
Dreams for the future
lie shattered, love
of life destroyed,
lost to pain, and
the way ahead
looks even worse,
I change my route,
try something new.
I declare a truce,
one-sided, still
it brings me moments
of gentle calm,
when a window
opens briefly,
gives me a glimpse
of possible peace.
Angelika Byczkowski suffers from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and fibromyalgia. Until she was disabled by progressive pain and fatigue, Angelika was a high tech IT maven at Apple and Yahoo. She lives in California’s Santa Cruz Mountains with her husband and various 4-legged kids.
When pain isn't keeping her flat on her back, she spends her limited energy researching and blogging about chronic pain, EDS, and fibromyalgia at EDS Info.
Pain News Network invites other readers to share their stories (and poems) with us.
Send them to: editor@PainNewsNetwork.org.