My Story: How I Was Medically Gaslighted
/By Preslee Marshall, Guest Columnist
I remember the first time I experienced what felt like an electric shock sensation. It was a sudden zap out of nowhere, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
It started happening about once a month, then turned into once every two weeks. Before I knew it, this painful experience was happening several times a day with no apparent explanation.
Recognizing that the pain I was feeling wasn’t normal, I went to a walk-in clinic to get answers.
I went over my symptoms with a doctor and was told, “It’s probably just fibromyalgia. Do Tai Chi, it should help with that.”
Confused, I asked the doctor to spell out what fibromyalgia was, as I hadn’t heard of it before. The way it was brushed off with “do Tai Chi,” I figured it couldn’t be too serious.
Finding information online about fibromyalgia didn’t take much time or effort. This chronic disorder causes pain and tenderness throughout the body, fatigue and trouble sleeping. One thing that stood out to me was how some people with fibromyalgia wind up on disability.
On the one hand, I could see the seriousness of fibromyalgia and how it can change people's lives. But on the other hand, I’m told to “do Tai Chi” with no official diagnosis or test.
What if the doctor was wrong?
PRESLEE MARSHALL
I decided to contact another medical professional about my symptoms and to get testing done to rule out other possible conditions. I called my family doctor (sweet lady, but her office is too far from me) and told her what was happening. She brought up a few ideas on what she thinks could be the problem, such as multiple sclerosis or fibromyalgia, and sent in a referral for me to see a neurologist, which was a 6-month wait.
As my pain worsened, I knew I couldn’t wait six months, so I called the walk-in clinic again and said that if it was fibromyalgia, then I should be sent for testing to determine that. I begged for an MRI test to rule out other illnesses, which I thought would help tremendously. I knew I needed to get referred as soon as possible if I wanted answers.
The clinic assured me that the neurologist would send me for those tests anyway, and that there was no point in doing it now. In my heart, I knew that it wouldn’t be that easy. It took some convincing, but the clinic finally agreed to send the referral for an MRI.
‘Get Your Nails Done’
After a long wait, it was finally time to see the neurologist, who I thought would solve my problems. I was wrong.
The first question I was asked was if I had anxiety. After answering yes, I could tell that he was sold on that being the problem. I’ve struggled with social anxiety for as long as I remember. I knew that this was not the case and said that to him.
“It’s all in your head,” he said at the end of the appointment. “If you get your nails done, you’ll feel better.”
I was shocked and devastated. I walked into the lobby, went straight to the bathroom, and cried. I knew the pain was real, but felt hopeless, wiping away my tears to head home.
That same month, just to prove to myself that I didn’t imagine my symptoms, I got a manicure, pedicure, massage and facial. And I still felt awful! I needed to prove to the doctor that he was wrong. I had my upcoming MRI to look forward to.
The day came and I got the MRI. The imaging test ruled out multiple sclerosis as a possibility, as well as other conditions. I brought those results back to my family doctor, who referred me to a rheumatologist.
After seeing the MRI results, asking me a few questions, and giving me a pressure point test, the rheumatologist diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. At that point, it had been over a year and a half since I started noticing the symptoms. I felt grateful to finally have a diagnosis.
Word of the Year
After such a long ordeal and less-than-ideal treatment by medical professionals, I’m on a mission to raise awareness about medical gaslighting.
Merriam-Webster, the oldest dictionary publisher in the United States, recently picked "gaslighting" as its word of the year. There are different forms of gaslighting, which Merriam-Webster defines this way:
“Psychological manipulation of a person… that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.”
Medical gaslighting is when a healthcare provider makes a patient feel as though their perception of their own symptoms is false. A common phrase being, “It’s all in your head.”
In my case, it was “do Tai Chi” and “get your nails done.”
After suffering for well over a year and having medical professionals dismiss my symptoms, I realized that it was up to me to get myself properly diagnosed.
I’d like to remind others who are struggling not to give up. It can feel like an impossible never-ending situation, but there are people in the medical field who will listen.
Preslee Marshall, 25, is from Winnipeg, Manitoba. When she’s not busy managing her business, Preslee is traveling the world and unlocking new opportunities for her future.
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