A Pained Life: My Teaching Moment
/By Carol Levy, PNN Columnist
There are not many positives to being in chronic pain, or having the disorders and diseases that cause it. But I think I found one.
Being harassed for not being able to wear a mask was a horrific experience for me. No good could come out of it, I thought, until I realized it could have been a perfect teaching moment.
I complained to a friend, who also has trigeminal neuralgia, how upsetting it was to be mask shamed, and that I feared it would happen again.
Her response was to send me a business-sized card to hand out that explained why I couldn't mask.
It reads: “I have facial pain. Any touch to the side of my face causes horrific pain. That is why I can’t wear a mask.”
I liked the card, but didn't feel comfortable handing it out. I put it in a drawer and left it there. But then, at the dental clinic, I was repeatedly handed a mask and told, “You need to put this on.”
Each time I had to pull out my doctor's note and explain why I would not and could not mask. It became very tiresome.
Then I remembered the card. I thought it needed to be more explicit and instructive, so I made another card that says this:
“Trigeminal neuralgia is a neurological disorder of the 5th cranial nerve that gives sensation to your face. With trigeminal neuralgia the sensation is severe, often excruciating pain, on its own as well with any touch to the affected area of the face involved.”
On my next visit to the dental clinic, I was handed a mask. Instead of saying, “I can't” and having the back and forth of “Why not?” and “A mask can't hurt you,” I handed her my and card said, “This is why I can't mask.”
She read it and said, “Okay. You don’t need to mask.”
It was a perfect way to educate her about trigeminal neuralgia, and cut off the debate that often ensues.
It’s easy to make a card. The small size of a business card makes it difficult to do anything but present the most important parts of the disorder or disease we have. For instance, for CRPS it could read:
“I have a disorder called CRPS, or complex regional pain syndrome. It is caused by dysfunction of nerves that carry pain signals to the brain. It causes spontaneous and touch-induced pain that is often disabling.”
Of course, that is not a full description of CRPS, but gives just enough information to be instructive and hopefully understandable to those who ask why you can’t do something.
Handing out the card makes me feel good. It’s a teachable moment. Being able to educate others may be the best thing we can do for ourselves.
Carol Jay Levy has lived with trigeminal neuralgia, a chronic facial pain disorder, for over 30 years. She is the author of “A Pained Life, A Chronic Pain Journey.” Carol is the moderator of the Facebook support group “Women in Pain Awareness.” Her blog “The Pained Life” can be found here.