I’m Already Well Aware

By Mia Maysack, PNN Columnist

If I did not cling to my optimism for dear life, I'd scoff at the concept of an awareness month such as June being nationally recognized as Migraine & Headache Awareness Month.

That’s due to the fact I am someone who has lived with a daily reminder of intractable pain for over two decades. It isn’t those of us who can directly relate to the pain experience that are in need of awareness.

I feel many “awareness” efforts are limited or fall short in terms of gaining recognition for a specific cause or reason. People typically don’t concern themselves with issues that don’t directly affect or impact them.

Someone who hasn’t ever had a migraine couldn’t possibly understand how it differs from a regular stress headache. Furthermore, somebody who does experience an occasional migraine still cannot fathom what it would be like to have one on a more constant basis.

What transpires within and throughout our individual lenses of the world is real to us and valid, though different from others. That doesn’t lessen the next person’s experience as being anything less than our own.    

There have been some who have thought of my claims about illness are disingenuous. But the reality is that I actually learned to “fake” wellness, in an effort to create a sense of fulfillment and meaning in my life, despite the hand I’ve been dealt.

Others claim those of us who live with pain should be able to “fix” ourselves, once we acknowledge things like a childhood trauma; or that if we adopt “sufficient water intake” and “sleep hygiene” for example, all will be well.

Although I believe there’s some merit to those suggestions, and that they come from a decent, well-meaning place --- if it were that simple, I would be healed by now, along with millions of others who endure similar circumstances.

For a lot of us, we’ve had to come to terms with the fact that there may not be anything out there to give us back the life we once had or wanted. That’s because we’ve already attempted and tried just about everything in search of pain management or relief.

Often, we’re unable to obtain access to options that might ease our suffering because that process can be a grueling one and often has a ripple effect of further complications, along with a multitude of hoop jumping. That’s why I’ve mostly refrained from making it a habit to ask for professional help. Instead, I have worked on acceptance, as there are not many things that anyone else can do for me.   

Relentless and untreatable ailments in any form are going to take a toll, but I hold steady to the concept of “pain” being a worldwide experience that each and every one of us can relate to in some way or another. Each of us have had moments when we’d do just about anything to have the discomfort end.

But instead of embracing the potential for common ground, we as a society tend to label people, when the cure is to be found in seeing and treating one another as fellow human beings. We never truly know where a person may be in regards to their mental health or quality of life, and need not make this already challenging existence any more difficult for ourselves or each other.

Given the extent I’ve witnessed how our healthcare system fails us, I had to choose to not identify with the victim mentality or wait any longer for answers elsewhere.  Ultimately, I stumbled upon empowerment in owning my situation, by tending to myself in ways that I am able. That was my education in self-awareness.

Mia Maysack lives with chronic migraine, cluster headache and fibromyalgia. She is the founder of Keepin’ Our Heads Up, a Facebook advocacy and support group, and Peace & Love, a wellness and life coaching practice for the chronically ill.