Why We Need Connections
/By Dr. Lynn Webster, PNN Columnist
On a recent "Hidden Brain" podcast, Shankar Vedantam interviewed former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy about the need for human connection.
Dr. Murthy is promoting his book, “Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World,” which is especially timely given the fact that so many people are currently experiencing social isolation.
I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast and, perhaps, to buy the book. Murthy comes across as a sensitive, intelligent physician who offers an empathetic perspective.
To state the obvious, the COVID-19 pandemic has created distance between most of us and isolation for many of us. To some degree, it has traumatized nearly all of us.
It is important to recognize many people will be seeking ways to heal from the experience. A desire to feel connected is primordial. To have a sense of belonging is on our hierarchy of basic needs. It is also important to healing.
Rachel’s Story
I want to share a short, true story to illustrate the power that connection plays in wellness and healing.
Debra Hobbins was a nurse practitioner who worked with me in our clinic. She had a unique capacity to connect with patients and make them feel they were important. It was genuine; she was a compassionate and empathetic clinician.
Debra and I had a patient, whom I will call "Rachel," who had developed an opioid addiction. After several years of fighting the addiction, Rachel tried to get help, but the barriers and rules created by treatment centers and the government prevented Rachel from seeking the care she needed. One day, Rachel found her way to our clinic, where Debra became her primary provider.
Since we were treating Rachel with Suboxone for an opioid addiction, I was included in Rachel’s treatment team. (This happened at a time before nurse practitioners could prescribe Suboxone for addiction.) However, it was Debra who took the lead role in offering a powerful sense of caring and connection for Rachel.
Debra was uniquely qualified to understand Rachel's pain, because she had lost her son to a heroin overdose many years earlier. She knew what Rachel needed to begin healing. Debra gave her what no one had given her before: understanding, compassion and nonjudgmental, unconditional love.
The connection Debra offered Rachel was essential to Rachel’s healing. But there are all sorts of support, and people in pain need various types of help at different times.
Religion and Spirituality Can Help Us Heal
Sometimes, people need help that no human can provide, and they seek healing and comfort from the divine or through spiritual practices.
Researchers are especially interested in how effective religion and spirituality are in helping people deal with physical or emotional pain. Time and again, studies have shown a correlation between a religious or spiritual orientation and improvements in pain or health.
In a 2011 study of 60 depressed patients, researchers found that “hopelessness and suicidal intent correlated negatively with the level of religiosity." In other words, people in pain who are religious or spiritual tend to feel better than those without belief. They are more likely to have "better psychological well-being."
Seeking Connections During the Pandemic
For many of us, our sense of isolation has been heightened by the pandemic. Some people who typically feel connected to others may have temporarily lost the ability to participate in activities that provided them with a sense of belonging, such as going to church or the gym.
There are alternatives, such as using Zoom to visit with friends and family, but all forms of connection are not equal. Some options work better for some people than for others. Those who are lucky enough to be able to participate in video calls may find them inadequate. According to Psychology Today, the technology may leave some people feeling exhausted and depleted rather than satisfied.
Tapping into their faith or joining video conferences may help some people feel connected. But for others, that may barely scratch the surface of their loneliness.
As Murthy points out, a "dark thread of loneliness" can cause physical health problems, including drug abuse. Physical distancing may keep many of us safe from the coronavirus—but without human connections, the richness of life can be elusive.
Lynn R. Webster, MD, is a vice president of scientific affairs for PRA Health Sciences and consults with the pharmaceutical industry. He is author of the award-winning book, “The Painful Truth,” and co-producer of the documentary, “It Hurts Until You Die.” You can find Lynn on Twitter: @LynnRWebsterMD.
